Barney trudged along the corridor, trying to delay the moment at which he would have to enter the classroom. He heard rapid footsteps behind as Tom and Sally rushed past, clearly eager to get to work. Barney suppressed a sigh as he approached the door, pushed it open and went to his desk.
He could hardly bear the thought of what lay ahead. The cruelty. Why were school children expected to cut up and torture innocents? Barbaric, that’s what it was. Tom and Sally already had their instruments lined up on their desks, points sharpened, ready for action.
Mrs Donnelley swept into the classroom, a pile of A4 paper in her arms. Without even pausing to say hello she started to hand the papers out. “Bisection today" she said, as she marched round the room. “Per-pen-dic-u-lar. And don’t look so doleful, Barney. A bit of compass work never hurt anybody."
Barney stared down at his desk. It might not have hurt anybody, but that didn’t stop it hurting anything. The paper on his desk was empty save for one straight line across the centre. Perpendicular bisection. As far as Barney was concerned, one of the nastiest concepts ever imagined.
Tom and Sally were busy already, gleefully jabbing their compasses into the paper and drawing their arcs. Barney slowly picked up his compass and checked the point. Was it better to have it sharp for a clean cut? Or could he get away without piercing if it was blunt? Probably didn’t make a difference either way. He eased the point into the paper at the end of the line, trying to leave a small gap so that it didn’t actually touch the line. It didn’t work. As the point went in he heard the scream.
Almost nothing compares to the scream of a line being pierced by a compass. Imagine a room full of hungry newborn babies crying at the top of their lungs, accompanied by a gang of seagulls fighting over a dropped chip, and you still don’t even come close. That’s what Barney thought, anyway. He clamped one hand over his ear and attempted to block the other with his elbow without dropping the compass, still surprised after all this time that nobody else seemed to hear it.
When the screaming had subsided, Barney drew his small arcs, one on either side of the line. That part wasn’t so bad. After the initial piercing the line had taken up a steady moan and didn’t seem to notice. It was worse when a line saw the arcs and realised what was coming. Barney took a deep breath and steeled himself to do the same thing on the other side. There was another scream as the point went in. Barney quickly drew his second set of arcs, crossing over the first set, and whipped the compass away.
The worst was still to come. Two points of intersection, one on each side of the line. It could only mean one thing. Barney picked up his ruler and twirled it between his fingers, putting off the inevitable. He glanced round the room and noticed a big pile of papers on Tom’s desk. He must have done ten, maybe fifteen. It just didn’t bear thinking about.
Barney returned his gaze to his own line, which had stopped moaning and was now letting out the occasional quiet sob. He placed his ruler on the intersection points, lined up his pencil, closed his eyes and, as fast as he could, ran the pencil down the ruler. There was a blood-curdling scream, then silence. One more line, gone. Bisected.